You never know when a moment and a few sincere words can have an impact on a life."
Zig Ziglar
When you read a quote like that you always think about your leadership roles; and, the people that you are managing; or a coach can think of a player; a teacher a student; parents their child; but, honestly this quote, for me, refers to every single word that is uttered out of our mouths. It can be a brief interchange with the Starbucks Barista, Car Wash attendant or the Retail Cashier. In any event, if you haven't figured it out by now (and I confess that I am still trying to figure it out) every single word matters. I try to teach my teenage daughter that every single day.
Words can also impact someone negatively when we say something "in the moment" or when "venting" that is spoken or texted that can be hurtful. There are always two sides of the coin. I have been on both; where I have found out that my words were encouraging - even inspiring; and, where I have spoken/texted hurtful words too; and, had to self-reflect and apologize.
The encouraging side of the coin:
It happened to me. I had to go back "home" to Ohio for a family funeral. I was briefly chatting to a dear family friend that had virtually known me all of my life. I had not seen her for years. She had gained a tremendous amount of weight over the years . We were talking and she was complaining about her weight gain. She said she was trying to lose the weight and it just wouldn't come off. I asked her if she still drank soda. She said yes, I suggested that she give it up and see what happens. Honeslty, I totally forgot about that conversation; and, never thought about it again.
Fast forward to July 2022 nearly three years later, I went back "home" to Ohio for a big family gathering that was for fun not a funeral; so, quality time with family members and friends happened.
I saw my family friend and she looked fabulous. Most of the excess weight was gone. We hugged and started talking. I asked "how did you do it"? She said "it was you. I listened to you and gave up soda." That was an "ah ha" moment for me. One suggestion in a quick conversation helped to change someone's life! Most importantly, it was a privilege to learn that my words had an impact on her life. I recently saw this family member this past July 2023 and she is continuing to eat well and is at a healthy weight. I am super happy for her.
The hurtful side of the coin:
Recently, I was venting with a friend over text and I responded with hurtful words about a mutual friend. Inadvertently, the mutual friend received the text. The words were hurtful and there is no excuse. The meaning was the truth. I thought about my actions. I love this friend but in the heat of the moment and my angrily typing fingers, I hurt her. It was wrong. I composed a more thoughtful expression of how I felt along with a sincere apology to this friend.
As we live day-to-day and strive to positively impact lives of others; it's also important to pause to recognize when our words have negatively impacted someone too. Being aware of the wrongdoing, admitting it and apologizing puts us back on the right track. Those actions too, will undoubtedly, be impactful.
Both of these encounters are life lessons. Lessons that I keep learning over and over again and it slaps me in the face that words matter and people listen! What are you saying? Is it encouraging, inspiring and/or lifting someone up? Or is it hurtful? Either way, be aware, recognize it and understand that our words impact others in ways we will maybe never even know.
Sonya Ruff Jarvis is a Business & Marketing Consultant; Content Creator & Connection-Maker; Thought Leader & Industry Expert and Book Author & Entrepreneur. Areas of expertise include: Retail; Marketing; Diversity, Equity & Inclusion (DEI); and Human Resources. Sonya has been a part of the B2B retail industry for more than 30 years. Interested in Sonya’s books? They can be found on Amazon or get an author autographed copy at www.jarvisconsultants.com.
Let’s talk about your next project and how Jarvis Consultants can support your initiatives; email sonya@jarvisconsultants.com.
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